if you eat a chicken and egg sandwich, you’re basically eating one thing at different times of its life
like when you eat a baby and an elderly person at the same time.
*looks through your selfies*
(Source: marypoppinthatpussy)
Snape, Snape, Severus Snape, DUMBLEDORE
- (I’m running errands for my pregnant wife. While walking to a nearby store, I see two teenagers harassing a child that is only four or five years old. I shoo them away from the boy, and he introduces himself.)
- Me: “So, where’s your mom at?”
- Boy: “She’s in the store. Do you have kids?”
- Me: “Not yet. We’re expecting a baby girl soon, though.”
- Boy: “Well, she’s going to turn out nice, like you! So, I’m going to marry her someday!”
- (I laugh, and play along while I bring him to the service desk, and wait until his mom picks him up. Six years later, my daughter comes home from school and introduces us to a friend that defended her against a bully on the playground. I didn’t recognize him, but he certainly knew who I was!)
Here’s a serious advice. Even the nicest people have their limits. Don’t try to reach that point because the nicest people are also the scariest assholes when they’ve had enough.
Demons run when a good man goes to war.
when mcdonalds accidentally gives you an extra chicken nugget
